Asking our departed loved ones for Signs

My beautiful and beloved ex-mother in law, Julie, died when I was pregnant with my second. While I’m sure she wouldn’t have been thrilled that I left her son when I realized I was queer, I wish to think she’d have loved me as she always had - purely, if with some confusion. I miss her every day.

Two ways we keep her alive - first, we have a small alter for our passed relatives in our home and leave them treats on occasion. We’re Jewish so we don’t have a big alter culture, but we have one just the same.

The best way we keep her alive, however, is with signs. Each of my two kids chose and told her spirit the sign they’d like to come from her. The oldest picked pink and purple butterflies, the youngest picked teal Hondas. Now, pink and purple butterflies were easy, but when the youngest picked teal Hondas, I had never even seen one. But our beloved Julie delivered - since then, we see at least one a week. We always tell her “thank you Grandma Juey” (what they call her) and send her love wherever she is.